Sunday, December 29, 2013

Bovine sloth = steak that can't get away

I never quite figured out what changed to make me go from a regular blogger, to someone who gets disgusted with whatever I write and end up deleting it midway. Is this part of growing up, where before I constantly wanted that interaction with others and had a compulsive need to communicate, and now, on account of um, old age, I am more self contained and don't need so much external validation? One hopes.

I suspect though, I'm equal parts lazy and disappointed with myself. To open the floodgates of what was dammed for so long, and to find it a murky trickle instead of a rich torrent, is quite the tan tan fish, as we say in Urdu (translation in English: anticlimactic fail). If you don't like what you see in the mirror, you stop looking. That is, if you're a lazy cow like I am. Which I hope you're not. There's enough bovine sloth here as it is.

Now I guess, I'm forcing myself to hold up the mirror in the hopes that I'll get over the disappointment and start working on improving what is reflected back. Yes, I haven't written the books that teenage me was certain would be published by 30. I haven't written anything really, other than my bread and butter of ghost-written articles. Oh, and I did ghostwrite a book. Don't think it got published though. The company did a number on me and disappeared without paying me the remaining half for my work. Ah well.

What does the mirror show so far? That if I don't start whipping my own saggy sack of a self into shape, I'll only have myself to blame in 9 years when I've hit 40 and have nothing to show for myself except wrinkles and stretchmarks. Lovely visual, that. Don't say I never gave you anything. ;)


  1. Cowpie, like all skills, writing is a muscle that needs exercise. So if you haven't worked your writing muscles out for a while, don't be surprised if they feel a bit wobbly.

    I'm so glad you're back. :)

  2. I'm gonnna try and force myself to keep doing this writing thing, even though whatever I put on paper makes me cringe. I CAN DO EEET. *flexes*